Thursday, 22 February 2018


The legacy of royal enfield is no doubt the bullet. A bike which is bigger than the brand itself. My first impressions of bullet were Jats, haryanvis and punjabi punks owning one. They had these annoying modified silencers which were exactly opposite of what they were meant to do. Increased the rough sound of air leaving the exhaust. That classic thump of bullet became an irritating noise. As time grew, I started to hate the bullet more and more.  Why?

1) It’s slow.  Indeed it is. I own an Yamaha FZ and although it’s not supposed to be a fast bike, it’s still faster than bullet.

2) It’s heavy. With a weight north of 190 kg, it is fucking heavy.

3) It’s too loud. I want my bikes to be discreet. 

4) It’s unreliable. 

5) It’s over rated.


I got a bullet of my own. It’s a long, sad story which warrants a separate post for itself. Just to make it clear, I did not buy it. It was sort of a gift. And no it wasn’t stolen. It’s the classic 500 in tan colour and looking at it is delightful. I am filled with a slight charm whenever I see my bike. The sturdiness, the  shape of headlight, curves from 1950s, all reminiscent of post war era, it’s not a feeling I can describe in words. 

But that’s it. Looks only. I hated the thought of driving it. It’s an inefficient machine that has been glamourised mostly by testosterone deficient males who have tried to supplement their protruding bellies and greying hair with a bike slow and inefficient much like them.

I have compiled here a list of problems I have had with it ever since I got my hands on it. And this is only a period of 3 weeks, I am talking here. 

1) It’s a 2017 classic 500 twinspark EFI model which had done 350  kms barely in one year. I brought it with me here to Delhi and it’s been with me for only 3 weeks but the problems with bike do not seem to cease at all. The first major problem was the fuse. The fuse blew twice within 2 weeks. Cheap electricals? I think too complicated electricals. 

2) Handle jammed up. It may have been due to tyre pressure but in my case I found it due to lack of proper lubrication in the handle joint. It’s been one year since it was serviced and I shouldn’t blame the company. But I have Yamaha FZ and it has never shown such unreliability.

3) After 150 km long trip the bike gave out. It started missing on low revs. Throttle response decreased. Due to engine overheating? Maybe. 

4) Poor service. Normal mechanics do not even touch bullet. So you have to find a bullet specialist and that’s a huge problem if you’re stuck in a remote location.

5) Vibrations. Bullet vibrates a hell lot. So much that you won’t be even to make out anything of the rear view mirrors if you have them. After 90 km/hr bullet handle vibrates precariously. 

6) The seat although feel comfortable but after a long ride I am pretty sure your tail bone is going to hurt. On my FZ, my thighs and shoulders hurt. What would you rather have hurt? Tailbone or other parts of the spine?

7) At high speeds, you feel air drag. It becomes so much that you sometimes feel like you’ll fall off from bike. So poor aerodynamics.

These are my first hand problems of bullet. But what I am about to say is nothing short of crazy. 

I am in love with the BULLET. 

It’s true. With all these problems and years of hatred has somehow just converted into a respect and love for the machine all on its own. The clanking of metal when you first power up your ride, coincides with the beating of your heart.  Dhak- dhak-dhak. The metal feel , the sturdiness, the retro’re not riding a bike, you’re riding THE BULLET. And you can only understand it once you’ve driven the bike for yourself. You don't care about speed, you don't care about mileage. In fact you don't care about anything in this world. You're the free bird while riding the bull. 
 They say bullet is a bike that doesn’t love you back. I think bullet is a princess that needs caressing for time and again, and it shows you its love when you’re cruising on a long highway where the man and his bike become one. When you’re all alone but the magic of bullet is such that you want to be alone. It gives you that freedom, that sense of a getaway, a sense of respect which is called ROYAL ENFIELD BULLET. 

Wednesday, 13 September 2017

In The Mind Of An Intellectual

This word Intellectual used to mean something to me. A person to look upto. Like Dr. Adrian in the movie 2012. A visionary who could see what anybody else couldn't. A rationalist who can connect the dots when no one else can. Someone who doesn't run with the horde, doesn't follow blindly or best of them all, someone who learns from the mistakes of the others I think is the most intelligent fellow among us.

But sadly, in these days an intellectual person is not someone who posses all these qualities, he's the one labelled as such by his peers. So, you might be an ass for all we know but you're counted among intellectuals because people have labelled you as such. One such example that we all see these days is the labelling of average, hippie journalists and bunch of naysayers as intellectuals. One such so called intellectual was murdered last week - Gauri Shankar. And how her death has fanned an opposition fire over the safety of 'intellectuals' is mind boggling. Right wing has been labelled as murderer even without an investigation. And who has called them murderers? Yes you guessed it right, the Intellectuals! Just imagine the irony!

I am a little baffled by how all these intellectuals in today's times are leftists or those who support left ideology. I make a mistake. These people don't even know what left means. They are just opposing the BJP, so they just use the antonym. So, it's baffling to see how all the intellectuals in times of today are BJP antagonists. They are not people mind you, the indian media has labelled them as think tanks, Intellectuals, free thinkers. So much for free thinking when you're harbouring such venom for right much for the intellect when you level baseless allegations against your own government without even giving it a second thought. It's a real travesty of democratic freedom that such bigots are given air time on national tv.

By the way do you think someone who has a good command over english language an intellectual? I have come across some really nasty people who have a superiority complex just because in all their life their whole achievement was to read some novels and write a few articles in english. It feels good to have a decent command of the language, a beautifully crafted speech that sways the public, like Mark Antony in Julius Caesar. So, do you think it's necessary to use big, bold words and flowery language to make an impact? I honestly feel that when you have actually something worthwhile to say you don't require the help of unusual words. Use of unconventional language may make it difficult for people to understand what you're saying and of course it is open to interpretation. But who will tell these intellectuals this thing. They take pride when commoners like us aren't able to understand what they're saying.

This bunch of intellectuals is self proclaimed. They do not amount to anything in their life but feel they are above the average people. Most of them are arts students. I wonder what they have done to warrant such attitude in their life. It must be a defense mechanism to make up for the arts course they are in. Like people with shallow confidence try to make up for it by behaving in an angry fashion like jats. Whatever this is, these people are going to be future barkha dutts and gauri shankars and sagarika ghoshs of India and it pains me to see that their only skill which is to read and give opinions in english language is just going to be used in petty politics to bicker at one another. They could also write diaper advertisements in mom blogs if they're ever out of work.

Tuesday, 12 September 2017

My overly attached girlfriend

My posts have been declining recently na? Well, I have a good reason for it, I have a girlfriend now *cool goggle smiley* 
So I am getting LAID pretty often and life is bright and shiny \o/
Yes haters gonna hate, let them hahaha



MY LIFE IS HELL. Long distance relationship it is. So forget about getting laid. The only sex we both have is oral. I pick up the phone and say fuck you, she says fuck you too  back to me *sigh*
So, we end up on talking on phone for more than 2 hours a day and it leaves me no time to get depressed and get my creative juices flowing :-( 

Well, I want to write a full post about how my girlfriend is, but I have found a video on youtube that sums it up for me pretty well.

Sunday, 26 February 2017

Carving their way into DU now as well

The recent events at Ramjas college pertaining to Umar Khalid can be best described as unfortunate. But is that the reality or has the truth been moulded and dissevered again by India’s highly intellectual journalists who are the sole flagbearers of torch of democracy ? Has the whole truth come out or has the truth been misconstrued again to serve a group of people?

Dissent is the very soul of democracy. Protest in democracy is not unheard of. It is this freedom to protest that makes us unique. So why is ABVP’s protest being termed as ‘murder of democracy’? Is that because it turned violent? Like it’s the first time when a protest has turned violent, right? Media intellects have maintained freedom of expression has been violated. I agree. Freedom of expression is violated when you air ‘anti-national views’ on your channels for days altogether and do not give a fair chance for the right people to voice their concerns. Imagine the plight of that poor soul whose heart is in the right place but he is called names and brandished as ‘bhakt’ for being the only one supporting the truth. Even after shouting, screaming and even exposing these antinationals in our country, your voice remains unheard. Lies triumph over truth, opinions prevail over reason, logic and reason is butchered in the name of freedom that is when democracy gets murdered. When being right doesn’t matter, that is when freedom of expression is violated. It’s not just about stopping a single person from giving speech or denying him entry, it’s about the disappointment, the frustration and dismay in our society’s acumen who make hero of people like Khalid. It’s the very idea of people like him roaming free, people who use pens instead of bombs that threaten to divide the very unity of this country, that hangs my head in shame when I see them being projected as the embodiment of freedom of speech. Give them platform to pollute young minds ? Give them freedom to spread poison among the unscrupulous and innocent university students who just think this is a fight for right of free speech?  So what did you expect? Sane people should just have their hands clasped together and warm their chairs? No sir, they protest. They protest to wake up people to this unprecedented evil. They protest to awaken people to open their eyes to reason and logic. They protest to expose the lies, the greed and lust.

And one day people will see the truth. They will see clearly that they have become part of such an uncanny tyranny that uses them as foot soldiers at their pleasure. People will see that they’ve been tricked into believing that it’s a fight for their right when in reality it’s a fight for someone else’s malicious agendas. It’s not just about freedom of speech anymore. It’s a revolution, against the media hounds, the anti-nationals , the intellectual bombs living amongst us, who have created a mockery of our reason and judgement  by disguising their anti national views under the garb of freedom of speech. They’ve been quick at capitalising at our mistakes and our busy-ness. We are resilient by force, not by choice. This recent incidence denotes exactly that . The frustration and helplessness of true Indians who can’t see the voice of reason being trampled everyday by such scrupulous minds. They have had it far too easy for far too long. 

Saturday, 10 September 2016

Some facts

-Humans are the only animals who depend on other humans for food

-Facts shown in news don't matter.

-These days it's rare to find facts on news.

-We've been led to believe the more we have, the better we are.

-Humans are the animals that have the most impact on their surrounding environment

-We consider ourselves intelligent but truth be told, we are not much different from other animals. We continue to grow at the expense of our environment and other species.

-Natural selection doesn't work amongst humans anymore.

-All humans aren't gifted with same mind.

-Stressed spelled backwards is dessert

Tuesday, 23 February 2016

India is not going crazy

Much has been already said about the recent events which have, I think, really affected all of us on some level be it positively or negatively and much more is yet to come. And amidst this chaos I find cynicism, vengeance, vendetta, hypocrisy disguised as plain stupidity of self styled moral keepers of the society. Everybody is telling everybody else how to live, how to act . That is what happens when you let moral policing get out of hand. Congress advocating its views on RSS and BJP further copyright-ing its stand on Nationalism. But it's nothing new. aevrybody likes to preach. Things get out of hand when people who like to preach form large groups. It's a fashion these days to hold protests and hold the city to ransom. And these protests may seem chaotic but actually it's more of 'organised chaos'

Let me give you a brief recap  - 
1)The Nirbhaya march 
2) The Anna Hazare movement
3) Modi Wave
4) Intolerance
5) Nationalism
6) Jat reservation

These are a few from the long list which garnered nation wide attention. And all these were inappropriately handled by the former UPA government and current NDA government alike. 

The action of students at JNU campus were act of children. Children I insist and they should have been dealt like that. Make them sit down, hear what they have to say, why do they feel victimised. And once you've understood their psyche, it will take a few kind words only to let them feel loved again and soon they will love their country again. .  Just a few kind words. Not lathis, batons, or arrests. Let them know that they are being heard and it will work wonders.They, if you look at it closely, represent their families, societies they are part of. So most of them might be reiterating what goes on in their homes. So imagine the impact of opening even one of these students to truth - He will influence his family/society in long run.
Words have more power than bullets. Despite being a nation of so many elders, I find it surprising why no one has done it yet. Accusations, blames, name-calling is going on and will go on forever but if political parties really wanted a solution then somebody from either side should have sounded the bugle of sensibility. Intelligence,and more importantly the 'intelligent', I tell you aren't lost in the cacophony. 

As far as issue of reservation is concerned, the government has set a very bad precedence- Just hold the whole state hostage and the government will listen to you. Well, no points for originality on that idea because everytime, a candle march is needed to make the government hear you. A very dangerous cocktail this is- Deaf government and defiant citizens. 

But at the end of the day, when all the voices have died down, all the abuses that flew from all the corners of the country have been paused for the next day and you feel cynical about the people of this country, know this that it's a moment of defining and deliniating the path of this nation. We are at a learning curve and these incidents will go a long way in defining what India will become in next 50 or 60 years. And the best part is- it can become anything but there will always be a guarantee that you will find debates, dissent and democracy in our country.
Not bad for a country that hallmarks the 'Unity in diversity' slogan. 

Saturday, 20 February 2016


I am a muslim. I declare my god as supreme and other's god as just a puppet of a story. I can vandalise ,  I can make anti-national statements and I can start a whole riot if my demands aren’t met. Last year, with advent of Modi government I felt a little insecure about the rise of right wing politics. But Modi vowed to protect my rights at any costs. But my local MLA plus some big guns from other opposition parties told me otherwise. When the elections were due in Bihar, opposition said that there is an atmosphere of ‘intolerance’ in India. Although no untoward incident ever happened with me, I joined their chorus and rallied against the ruling party with utmost ferocity and vengeance. I heard about the Malda incident where it was said that Muslims were also at fault. But I don’t believe that at all. I refuse to comment on Malda incident. Let’s talk about Dadri lynching.

                I am a Dalit. My parents are government servants and they make a decent salary. We have a nice little hatchback at home. I live in Delhi in a 1000 sq ft government bungalow located at the poshest place of delhi. I studied at the most prestigious school of Delhi. Now I am in IIT delhi. I scored less than my Brahmin friend. He lives in a lesser known part of Delhi in a 650 sq ft bungalow with his parents, grand parents and two sisters. His father is also employed in Govt sector but at a low post.  So he doesn’t own a car as of yet but I am sure their life is going smoothly I never hear them complain. He studies in NIT. He has to pay full fees of the course . Meanwhile, 50% of my fees has been remitted under Dalit schemes by government of India. I buy nike shoes and branded clothes and though times are hard, I still manage to scoop out a little money for that trendy haircut.  

                I am a dalit farmer. I don’t own any land. I work at someone else’s farm and he pays me just enough to feed my 4 children and wife. But it gets tough for me at the end of season because then I find it impossible to find any work. The school is located about 20kms from my village and it’s already running above its capacity. Besides I have 3 daughters. I had already married my eldest daughter when she was 10 and now we are waiting for her to turn 16 to send her to her ‘own’ home. My son gives me a helping hand in my work, so I really don’t see any point of sending him to school when he just has to work on farms like me. He should rather know about our business. I hear government is launching many schemes. One such is insurance cover. But the banker babu won’t even talk to me. He is always away and when rarely he comes to office, he keeps mostly to himself and have us kicked out. I hear my friend had successfully applied for the scheme but on the last step due to some missing document, he was denied the benefit of the scheme. With another scheme that entails my wife and daughter, I am entitled to some money for my daughter’s marriage. I have went many times to gram panchayat office but the secretary over there won’t enrol my name until I pay rs 5000 to him. The government is doing nothing for us Dalits. I feel powerless and helpless and have gone to opposition parties as well but they also don’t seem to have time for me. But when my friend committed suicide, everybody from congress president to even chief minister of Delhi came to our village and granted relief fund to his family. Sometimes, I also think that suicide is my only option. Atleast my death would ensure two square meals for my family.

                I am a Hindu. I take a bus to work daily. I live in a small but decent house in a fairly large city. I manage to provide fairly good education to my two kids. My wife stays at home and like everybody else she has her demands. I try to make a few extra bucks on the side by working overtime and on some occasions I take a meagre bribe of Rs200. Atleast that way I can take my family for outings on weekends. I have to send a part of my income to my parents living in the village but that’s alright. We make a fairly decent living and have very little left as savings. Last year, my wife got ill. She had to undergo a minor operation but even that proved costly for us. I had to break my pension fund to provide for her medical assistance. I get hit really hard with increasing prices of petrol and pulses. But still I manage to scrape through the month somehow. I don’t feel the government is responsible for such condition of mine. I am myself responsible because may be I am not working hard enough. Sometimes I feel inadequate when I meet my old friends and see they have got fancy cars. But now nothing much can change. I am bound to this daily drudgery. This stagnancy in my life makes me depressed sometimes. But it won’t even matter to anyone if I live or die except for my family. They will suffer the most if I leave them midway. I fall prey to market frauds and Ponzi schemes easily, not because I am unintelligent but because I am desperate.  I feel my children have the future ahead of them and they can really turn things around if they study well. I want my son to study in IIT. I don’t criticise the government each day with a newspaper in hand but yes I feel that politicians have destroyed this country. I have thought of contributing to government’s scheme of giving up LPG subsidy but with my income it’s impossible to do so. At my workplace, we have muslim co-workers and they also seem to be facing similar issues. They are intelligent and well mannered. Most of all they all are really nice and helpful. I don’t ever feel insecure with them and neither they do with me. It’s not like we concoct up harmony, it’s just very normal. We don’t even feel there is a difference between us. I therefore find it difficult to digest the polarising comments made by different political parties. Safe to say, I reserve my comments on these topics and stay away from politics. I have to look after my house first.

We are muslims, Hindus, Sikhs, Dalits, Adivasi, tamilian, assamese, Punjabi, Sindhi. We doctors, lawyers, clerks afterwards. We are not INDIANS. We never were. Never will be.