Tuesday, 1 May 2018

Avengers : Infinity war is a disaster

I have just been back from the show of Avengers Infinity war and I have some scathing words for this movie. WARNING : SPOILERS AHEAD

I like to consider myself a moderate marvel fan. Because inconsistency in marvel universe quite evident with movies like thor: the dark world, guardians of galaxy biting the dust for good. But things took a serious turn for me after Thor: Ragnarok and Black Panther. Absolutely fantastic movies that were the silver linings of 2017 and 2018 respectively. Infinity war was supposed to move the golden run forward but it just came crashing down on my expectations.
 
There are a multitude of things wrong with this movie but the biggest thing that was wrong with this movie was THANOS. Yes, the villain. He was the main weak link in the movie. Thanos is an underrated and under depicted character in this movie. A big blue hulk wearing a golden glove is what is served as the tormentor of Tony Stark since the events of New York. His voice is menacing but his features are soft. His serrated chin reminds me of WWE wrestlers who ultimately come out to be the good guys. But is he supposed to be a good guy? He has been pounded with all sorts of adjectives ranging from "devour-er of the worlds to madman". But we get a scene too where we see tears in his eyes. Are we supposed to feel his pain? And generate a misdirected affection for him. I don't think the directors were wanting to go there but unfortunately, they did. His dialogues do not complement his gigantic stature and his menacing voice. He feels rather timid for such a terrifying character. 

Thanos is fighting each and every avenger in this movie in one scene or the other. He beats the hulk, kills loki like bottle gourd and petrifies Thor. And so do his children. Who dwell on enormous power and have excellent training in krav maga. They try to build up a narrative for thanos but are interrupted by ill-timed one liners from the ensemble cast. They don't get beaten up by a concoction of dr. strange, Iron man, spider man and bruce banner. If they could one Thanos' child Ebony Maw could have his own super villain movie dedicated to him for he makes cars fly at the flick of his finger. Such a marvellous villain dying from just being sucked into outer space. 

corvus glaive
Coming to the outer space, although Ebony Maw froze to death in outer space, thor manages to survive cold and heat alike. A bit weird, no?? Well, everything going on with thor is weird. In Ragnarok it is evident that he learns how powerful he is and he doesn't need his hammer. As evident by the epic dialogue " Are you the God of hammer"? But in Avengers, his love for hammer is back and he feels rather timid facing enemies without his weapon. The new weapon he forges, gives him some additional power somehow. Like it's a sale season going on. Shop with you mastercard and avail 15% more discount. It's a mess. The directors forgot the basic essence of each and every character in this movie. 


Black panther is undermined by his protective detail "Okoye". Such a fantastic character and a brilliant actor "chadwick boseman" is under utilised in this movie. Captain America gets a shield in shape of a leaf. He looks sexy in beard, fit for action but lack of his trademark shield is evident. You keep waiting for more of him throughout the movie. Actually you keep wanting more of every character in this movie but it never happens. The movie never evolves to something bigger. Just a cat fight between thugs and mall cops. You wish to see tony stark with his swanky gadgets and new technology but what do you get instead? A nanotechnoogy based suit. That somehow lasts for an eternity. Vision with the voive of Jarvis who showed some brilliant moves in age of ultron, limps throughout this movie. He doesn't even get a heroic death he deserved. Black widow, Col rhodes, flying man sam wilson, wanda, bucky all appear as a bunch of extras. No significant screen time or role. Peter Quill played by Chris Pratt is immature and irritating. His jokes are repetitive and maddening. Chris Pratt never feels comfortable in the skin of his character. 





It's not as if the movie doesn't have its moments. It does. And great ones too. Like when Thor descends back to Earth to fight off Thanos' army when everyone else is being beaten pulp. He makes a magnificent entry. The whole crowd erupted in cheer as Thor plummeted the army with his new axe. 20 seconds later, it gets cut off and we again hear the same monotonous Thanos. Or his uninspiring and frankly boring fight with iron man and dr. strange. The fight looks so unreal that you just start yawning. Iron man survives when he is hit by a MOON. Yeah , you read it right a MOON! Like really?? The guy couldn't even lift sokovia himself in age of ultron. Fights seem more like mindless violence. Thanos army more like mutant lizards from a video game. 3D effects are dismal. Story line sucks. It doesn't even make any sense. We had Dr, Selvig who created a reactor with tesseract at its core to open up another dimension in the first avengers movie. But here dimensions get opened up at the drop of a hat. No scientific explanation, no logic. Felt like a bollywood masala movie.

Overall it was a big step down from the standards of a marvel movie. As a cinematic experience and as a story too. The movie lacked depth and characters were used more as props rather than beings. You never bond with any of the character. You never feel for them. Never connect with them. The Russo brothers directed both the captain america : The Winter Soldier And The Civil War, which are my least favourite marvel movies. Their confusion, lack of depth of characters, lack of emotions and cluttered direction has destroyed what could have been the greatest marvel movie ever. 

P.S- There is no HULK in the movie. Poster makes a fool out of you. Bruce Banner gets Erectile Dysfunction And Can't Get it Up. Bruce banner is unable to turn into Hulk.

What works for the movie?
A script for tomfoolery in the second avengers movie. 


Disclaimer : All pictures are from a google image search.

Tuesday, 17 April 2018

The Absence of happiness


A cloud of uncertainty hovers over me

Larger and larger it grows

Fed by the absence

It reaches out to hold me

It’s tentacles tightly wrapping around my chest

Squeezing, minute by minute, day by day

And it lifts me up

To an unending world

Where truth holds no power

Courage has no meaning

Body has no soul

And I perish away, like I never existed
Larger and larger it grew

Thursday, 22 February 2018

ROYAL ENFIELD BULLET : A DREAM YOU DON’T WANT ?


The legacy of royal enfield is no doubt the bullet. A bike which is bigger than the brand itself. My first impressions of bullet were Jats, haryanvis and punjabi punks owning one. They had these annoying modified silencers which were exactly opposite of what they were meant to do. Increased the rough sound of air leaving the exhaust. That classic thump of bullet became an irritating noise. As time grew, I started to hate the bullet more and more.  Why?


1) It’s slow.  Indeed it is. I own an Yamaha FZ and although it’s not supposed to be a fast bike, it’s still faster than bullet.

2) It’s heavy. With a weight north of 190 kg, it is fucking heavy.

3) It’s too loud. I want my bikes to be discreet. 

4) It’s unreliable. 

5) It’s over rated.


BUT IS IT?


I got a bullet of my own. It’s a long, sad story which warrants a separate post for itself. Just to make it clear, I did not buy it. It was sort of a gift. And no it wasn’t stolen. It’s the classic 500 in tan colour and looking at it is delightful. I am filled with a slight charm whenever I see my bike. The sturdiness, the  shape of headlight, curves from 1950s, all reminiscent of post war era, it’s not a feeling I can describe in words. 


But that’s it. Looks only. I hated the thought of driving it. It’s an inefficient machine that has been glamourised mostly by testosterone deficient males who have tried to supplement their protruding bellies and greying hair with a bike slow and inefficient much like them.


I have compiled here a list of problems I have had with it ever since I got my hands on it. And this is only a period of 3 weeks, I am talking here. 


1) It’s a 2017 classic 500 twinspark EFI model which had done 350  kms barely in one year. I brought it with me here to Delhi and it’s been with me for only 3 weeks but the problems with bike do not seem to cease at all. The first major problem was the fuse. The fuse blew twice within 2 weeks. Cheap electricals? I think too complicated electricals. 

2) Handle jammed up. It may have been due to tyre pressure but in my case I found it due to lack of proper lubrication in the handle joint. It’s been one year since it was serviced and I shouldn’t blame the company. But I have Yamaha FZ and it has never shown such unreliability.

3) After 150 km long trip the bike gave out. It started missing on low revs. Throttle response decreased. Due to engine overheating? Maybe. 

4) Poor service. Normal mechanics do not even touch bullet. So you have to find a bullet specialist and that’s a huge problem if you’re stuck in a remote location.

5) Vibrations. Bullet vibrates a hell lot. So much that you won’t be even to make out anything of the rear view mirrors if you have them. After 90 km/hr bullet handle vibrates precariously. 

6) The seat although feel comfortable but after a long ride I am pretty sure your tail bone is going to hurt. On my FZ, my thighs and shoulders hurt. What would you rather have hurt? Tailbone or other parts of the spine?

7) At high speeds, you feel air drag. It becomes so much that you sometimes feel like you’ll fall off from bike. So poor aerodynamics.


These are my first hand problems of bullet. But what I am about to say is nothing short of crazy. 


I am in love with the BULLET. 


It’s true. With all these problems and years of hatred has somehow just converted into a respect and love for the machine all on its own. The clanking of metal when you first power up your ride, coincides with the beating of your heart.  Dhak- dhak-dhak. The metal feel , the sturdiness, the retro look....you’re not riding a bike, you’re riding THE BULLET. And you can only understand it once you’ve driven the bike for yourself. You don't care about speed, you don't care about mileage. In fact you don't care about anything in this world. You're the free bird while riding the bull. 
 They say bullet is a bike that doesn’t love you back. I think bullet is a princess that needs caressing for time and again, and it shows you its love when you’re cruising on a long highway where the man and his bike become one. When you’re all alone but the magic of bullet is such that you want to be alone. It gives you that freedom, that sense of a getaway, a sense of respect which is called ROYAL ENFIELD BULLET. 






Wednesday, 13 September 2017

In The Mind Of An Intellectual

This word Intellectual used to mean something to me. A person to look upto. Like Dr. Adrian in the movie 2012. A visionary who could see what anybody else couldn't. A rationalist who can connect the dots when no one else can. Someone who doesn't run with the horde, doesn't follow blindly or best of them all, someone who learns from the mistakes of the others I think is the most intelligent fellow among us.

But sadly, in these days an intellectual person is not someone who posses all these qualities, he's the one labelled as such by his peers. So, you might be an ass for all we know but you're counted among intellectuals because people have labelled you as such. One such example that we all see these days is the labelling of average, hippie journalists and bunch of naysayers as intellectuals. One such so called intellectual was murdered last week - Gauri Shankar. And how her death has fanned an opposition fire over the safety of 'intellectuals' is mind boggling. Right wing has been labelled as murderer even without an investigation. And who has called them murderers? Yes you guessed it right, the Intellectuals! Just imagine the irony!

I am a little baffled by how all these intellectuals in today's times are leftists or those who support left ideology. I make a mistake. These people don't even know what left means. They are just opposing the BJP, so they just use the antonym. So, it's baffling to see how all the intellectuals in times of today are BJP antagonists. They are not people mind you, the indian media has labelled them as think tanks, Intellectuals, free thinkers. So much for free thinking when you're harbouring such venom for right wing..so much for the intellect when you level baseless allegations against your own government without even giving it a second thought. It's a real travesty of democratic freedom that such bigots are given air time on national tv.

By the way do you think someone who has a good command over english language an intellectual? I have come across some really nasty people who have a superiority complex just because in all their life their whole achievement was to read some novels and write a few articles in english. It feels good to have a decent command of the language, a beautifully crafted speech that sways the public, like Mark Antony in Julius Caesar. So, do you think it's necessary to use big, bold words and flowery language to make an impact? I honestly feel that when you have actually something worthwhile to say you don't require the help of unusual words. Use of unconventional language may make it difficult for people to understand what you're saying and of course it is open to interpretation. But who will tell these intellectuals this thing. They take pride when commoners like us aren't able to understand what they're saying.

This bunch of intellectuals is self proclaimed. They do not amount to anything in their life but feel they are above the average people. Most of them are arts students. I wonder what they have done to warrant such attitude in their life. It must be a defense mechanism to make up for the arts course they are in. Like people with shallow confidence try to make up for it by behaving in an angry fashion like jats. Whatever this is, these people are going to be future barkha dutts and gauri shankars and sagarika ghoshs of India and it pains me to see that their only skill which is to read and give opinions in english language is just going to be used in petty politics to bicker at one another. They could also write diaper advertisements in mom blogs if they're ever out of work.

Tuesday, 12 September 2017

My overly attached girlfriend

My posts have been declining recently na? Well, I have a good reason for it, I have a girlfriend now *cool goggle smiley* 
So I am getting LAID pretty often and life is bright and shiny \o/
Yes haters gonna hate, let them hahaha

lol

NOOOOOOOOOO


MY LIFE IS HELL. Long distance relationship it is. So forget about getting laid. The only sex we both have is oral. I pick up the phone and say fuck you, she says fuck you too  back to me *sigh*
So, we end up on talking on phone for more than 2 hours a day and it leaves me no time to get depressed and get my creative juices flowing :-( 

Well, I want to write a full post about how my girlfriend is, but I have found a video on youtube that sums it up for me pretty well.


Sunday, 26 February 2017

Carving their way into DU now as well


The recent events at Ramjas college pertaining to Umar Khalid can be best described as unfortunate. But is that the reality or has the truth been moulded and dissevered again by India’s highly intellectual journalists who are the sole flagbearers of torch of democracy ? Has the whole truth come out or has the truth been misconstrued again to serve a group of people?


Dissent is the very soul of democracy. Protest in democracy is not unheard of. It is this freedom to protest that makes us unique. So why is ABVP’s protest being termed as ‘murder of democracy’? Is that because it turned violent? Like it’s the first time when a protest has turned violent, right? Media intellects have maintained freedom of expression has been violated. I agree. Freedom of expression is violated when you air ‘anti-national views’ on your channels for days altogether and do not give a fair chance for the right people to voice their concerns. Imagine the plight of that poor soul whose heart is in the right place but he is called names and brandished as ‘bhakt’ for being the only one supporting the truth. Even after shouting, screaming and even exposing these antinationals in our country, your voice remains unheard. Lies triumph over truth, opinions prevail over reason, logic and reason is butchered in the name of freedom that is when democracy gets murdered. When being right doesn’t matter, that is when freedom of expression is violated. It’s not just about stopping a single person from giving speech or denying him entry, it’s about the disappointment, the frustration and dismay in our society’s acumen who make hero of people like Khalid. It’s the very idea of people like him roaming free, people who use pens instead of bombs that threaten to divide the very unity of this country, that hangs my head in shame when I see them being projected as the embodiment of freedom of speech. Give them platform to pollute young minds ? Give them freedom to spread poison among the unscrupulous and innocent university students who just think this is a fight for right of free speech?  So what did you expect? Sane people should just have their hands clasped together and warm their chairs? No sir, they protest. They protest to wake up people to this unprecedented evil. They protest to awaken people to open their eyes to reason and logic. They protest to expose the lies, the greed and lust.


And one day people will see the truth. They will see clearly that they have become part of such an uncanny tyranny that uses them as foot soldiers at their pleasure. People will see that they’ve been tricked into believing that it’s a fight for their right when in reality it’s a fight for someone else’s malicious agendas. It’s not just about freedom of speech anymore. It’s a revolution, against the media hounds, the anti-nationals , the intellectual bombs living amongst us, who have created a mockery of our reason and judgement  by disguising their anti national views under the garb of freedom of speech. They’ve been quick at capitalising at our mistakes and our busy-ness. We are resilient by force, not by choice. This recent incidence denotes exactly that . The frustration and helplessness of true Indians who can’t see the voice of reason being trampled everyday by such scrupulous minds. They have had it far too easy for far too long. 

Saturday, 10 September 2016

Some facts

-Humans are the only animals who depend on other humans for food

-Facts shown in news don't matter.

-These days it's rare to find facts on news.

-We've been led to believe the more we have, the better we are.

-Humans are the animals that have the most impact on their surrounding environment

-We consider ourselves intelligent but truth be told, we are not much different from other animals. We continue to grow at the expense of our environment and other species.

-Natural selection doesn't work amongst humans anymore.

-All humans aren't gifted with same mind.

-Stressed spelled backwards is dessert