Saturday 21 December 2013

The Culinary Fad

Staying alone is the best thing that has ever happened to me. All because for my love of cooking. It is such a wonderful experience to see your hobby growing and having been put to good use. I thought I was a wonderful cook. But doing everything right from the beginning isn't so intereseting. It's actually quite tiresome. The cutting part especially. It's tacky too ! But when the whole food comes to life, it's all worth the effort.

I never realised Indian cooking would be such a challenge. Actually, you have to keep a perfect balance between all the spices and an amateur like me just rolled out some of the world's biggest disasters. Hell, I thought roasting, baking would be challenge! But it's seriously not. I would have been so happy to bake out a cake in Delhi, actually boasted about it incessantly but seriously, Daal-subji is no less than baking, mind you.

I don't know what's wrong with Lumia's camera while clicking pictures at shorter distances, but believe me these dishes looked much better than they do here.

Kadhai chicken 
Moong Dal

Onion Paranthas
Bread Rolls (one that broke)
Perfect bread rolls

Aloo Gobhi !




Paneer and dal paranthas! 




Being Bhopali


My Bhopal stay is turning out better than expected. I mean literally!

'Bhopal', a deadly bomb which blasted around three months back, shook me to my roots. It really tested my patience a couple of times and maybe, still is, but boy oh! boy! isn't it so good here?
Actually, the first time I came here, it was utter madness. Much like the foreigners experience when they first visit India. I get out of the train station and I am literally surrounded by hoards of dirty, black, smelly auto wallas ready to slice each other for me! How cool is that? Had they been girls, I would have felt so much better! :D A bumpy ride towards my hostel made me realise in how poor shape I have been in! Back breaking joy rides on bhopal roads had already rolled out the red carpets for my welcome! And the plush, silky smoke coming out of the century old vehicles over here was the icing of my cake! No place like BHOPAL!


The hostel was even better than expected! What 5-star suites? Hell no! I didn't expect them! I expected just some tin shack with a bed and a common toilet for all the hostelers! Contrary to my expectations, I was given a room big enough for two people and an attached toilet-bathroom! I mean a bed, a table and a chair! And attached toilet! I was overjoyed!  *Happy tears* *Pauses to wipe them off* What else does a man need to live, right? And boy! I had already sacrificed material pleasures before hand, remember? So,I think it's apt to declare here , DO Not think that I love Jaguar or Maserati ! I am way above all the material pleasures of this world !  And I met so awesome people here! I am just speechless! What can I say? Just this much that I am seriously a ' Tuch praani' in front of them!


Okay, enough of the satire. I am actually enjoying my stay in bhopal ! Seems like I am on a vacation and that too in London! The thing is I had realised I am not cut out for the hostel life, and therefore, just moved out of that shithole about one and a half months back. And since then, my life has been "uber cool" !! I live all alone in a rented house or maybe a mansion..whatever you want to call it :| So I put all my skills to good use. Especially the cooking ones! I make my own food and just every other basic thing you have to! It's so much fun. Bhopal is neither too cold nor too hot, so it is a good place for biking and when you're hitting the gym on regular basis, you just want to be seen on bikes! :P ANother news is that I am on a weightloss spree, shredded about 15kgs so far. But the bad thing is now I am out of clothes of my size. My pants just keep on falling down :/ And no I can't buy new clothes! I already bought these ones 3 months back and now they're so oversized. :/ :/


Apart from this, I think people from Delhi are even not that intelligent. I used the phrase AG, who is from Delhi, "moving out" and she was all over the place trying to control her laughter! :/  I really don't like people who don't get sarcasm! And also the ones, for whom, an english serial means FRIENDS -_-

Tuesday 17 December 2013

Back to Life

Feels good to be back on blog. :)
My life has been on a roller coaster ride from the past 2-3 months with many highs and back-breaking lows. Unfortunately, you all will just get to hear about my high points ;)
By the way, I wonder who am I writing this post for? Or the bigger question that keeps on hanging in my mind is about the subtitle of my blog. Here's a short yet epic conversation about my blog between AG and me, whilst I was trying to impress her with my blogging skills :-

ME: See, I have this blog. (Feeling quite anxious to see her reaction)

AG: Blog? What's that? You're boring !

Me: Stop complaining and just read ! (I force her to go through a funny post at once)

AG: You seriously did that? (referring to me hitting my friend for ogling)

Me: Umm.. maybe that's why I have written it !

AG: Well, great then (And she resides back into her whatsapp world)

*Me still not satisfied with her reaction, forces her to scroll through my blog once more and this time I am just stunned to imagine the plight of my readers because she did have a point *

AG: It's good... your blog.

Me: Just good?

AG: Well, you do need a hobby or something.

Me: a hobby???...(before I could complete)

AG: But why does your heading says "The blog about nothing"?

Me: Because it is a blog about "nothing"

AG: Then why am I reading it?

Me: Because it's on blogger...(still wondering over that last part! lolzz!)

AG : Errr.. !













I really feel so bad that all of you had to go through so much! :D
I still can't stop laughing over that incident!
On one side I am being awarded by my dearest blogger friend (Sunakshi) and on another such an epic description of my blog is taking place ! :D
But not to worry folks! Sunakshi has agreed to write a guest post for my blog and I am optimistic that one day, I would definitely receive that post from her !
Till then, let me just work on the "Thank you for the award " post.( mentioning again the award being bestowed on me by the @Adamantwitch. )
Finally there will be two sensible posts on my blog- one from my Pooja Di, who has somehow gone into complete blog hibernation just like me but once again, I say I am an optimist and she must have been working on some ' ultra dhaasu' post amidst the Beaverton Hailstorms :D
And the second from my dearest friend Sunakshi to whom I have given the most important task of keeping Delhi safe while I am away. I am positive that the queen of Ghaziabad would be doing a wonderful job! :D

With Love,
IHY

Friday 1 November 2013

:/ :| :) :D

Disclaimer: this comeback post is too damn idiotic to be read. I strongly advise you against reading it.

First of all Happy Diwali in advance to all of you.. kya pata kal ho na ho.. (okay it was pathetic!)

Now, back home after such a long time feels too good. If I could just record the reactions of my parents while going and coming back home.. sigh... it's such a moment :) Although we are not a very peaceful family mind you! We have lots of quarrels and nagging going on 24x7, I still find my family to be the perfect one. No unnecessary drama (although my mother can be too emotional sometimes) but all the more it's all has been quite normal. But it has changed ever since I went away from the home. Now, I think moi can also classify myself as a high draamebaaz! :P
I had millions of emotions trying burst out of me when I saw my parents after so many days. Actually, the thought of meeting them was much more scintillating than meeting them as such. And when I saw them (it was probably midnight) I could just say-'I am going to sleep!'
Such is my Drama! But their drama seems no bounds.. hugguing me like I have come from a war or something and asking me all sorts of unnecessary questions.. it all irritates sometimes but frankly I miss this irritation in hostel !

My life in college is turning out to be real pain in the ass! No friends, no girlfriends (sigh!) and no good company! I mean seriously? Not even a single person is that good. Although, I have made some super-awesome friends among my seniors! No, literally! Not that awesome, okay but still better than my batchmates I would say.  Some seniors are really good. Some are okay-okay. Some are even pathetic. Dealing with each and every one of them has really given me nerves of steel.

But what's missing is a proper friendship or companionship. I don't how it happened but my image has taken a drastic toll in my batch :o I am the good, decent student of my class!  Seriously! What is going on here??? Me and decent ? *tongue sticking out, eyes shut and lightning outside* :D
I thought why not go with this image? No? What's the harm in being decent? right?
No! I was wrong! People take you for granted. Back bitch about you constantly and do everything to hurt you  >: ( That decent image slowly loses its luster, you are termed as boring or sometimes even idiotic *sigh*
So congratulations to me I am back to school !
Never thought 20 yr olds could be this obnoxious!
They are seriously dickheads out there! Bhopali ! Soorma bhopali !
I have so many friends here in DU, and my god! Look at them! Hanging out with the best crowd, have had a complete makeover and what not! The only good thing with me is I am just studying a better course! Heck! *angry explicits*
(calm down abhishek, calm down! )

And what's with the social media these days?? Fb pe itni photos and on whatsapp too? What are you trying to prove damn it? I am jealous of you, okay? khush? *another round of angry explicits*

*goes to the fridge, eats some cake*

Now I feel better :D

I am also quite obsessed with girls these days. An obsession like never before. Maybe because I have made a complete foll of myself in front of her and now I require an image makeover. It's tough I tell you. She is in demand always, I tell you. Delhi friends as well as soorma bhopalis.. all keep her quite distracted from me :P I already feel like rajesh koothrappali :P :P !
It is so funny! How life takes unexpected turns? I am not angry. Neither sad. I am enjoying all this.
Sometimes I pause to recall what all has happened to me, in third person talk to myself. It really helps in tensed situations. Gives you a hearty laugh and a great solution! :D

P.S- I showed some of my posts to THE GIRL. I am now thinking of either shutting down my blog or awarding each and everyone of you, who reads my blog with millions of chocolates!

Tuesday 1 October 2013

Back After such a long time

It's good to be finally back here :) For all of those who are wondering where I went, I have joined my BDS classes in Bhopal ! So, I am staying in hostel and since then, my life has been on a roller coaster ride.
Life in hostel is very tough, for me, I would say ;) Going away from my home for the first time was a very drastic change which came all of a sudden. The fact obviously remains, that it had to be by chance,not by choice.

So let me just start point wise to get a concise post.

THE RAGGING PART

Why not start with the funniest part?
So, yes, I was ragged, am being ragged and will be ragged till the fresher's is organised.
For 15 days I had stayed in the hostel, I with my other batchmates, had become the personal chai-walla, paani-waala and what not? For the first time, I did someone else's assignment.
The first day, I went there, 15-20 seniors had come to my room just to take a look at me. *sigh* I felt like a new dog in a colony being sniffed by the local dogs *deep deep sighs*
And then I was bombarded with numerous questions ranging from my hobbies, my talents and my favourite actress! I dodged these questions quite wickedly though..which I had to regret later..
like, Where did you study?
In the school sir.. I said with a puppy face :D

My batchmates then took a 2hr class of me the same day and made me aware of all the protocols and rules. I had no option but to comply..

And being from delhi, I tell you, is a curse in these places. All the people have their pre-conceived notions about delhites, mostly on the negative sides, so I am being ragged harder. I need more training than others, or so the seniors say..!

We, especially, Me, is ordered to speak in shudh hindi !
e.g For asking any senior's name I have to say like this-aadarniya shriman mahoday, aap mere varishth hain aur main apka kanishth hoon. Me apne aap ko apke aadar aur samman ka paatra banne ke kaabil bhi nhi samajhta paruntu fir bhi kya mai apka su-naam jaanne ki chestha rakh sakta hoon? 

For asking the permission to go to bed-Manniya Shriman Mahodaya. Me, ek atyant tuch praani, aapke aseem shabd sunne ke baad dhanya ho gaya hoon. Agya deejiye mujhe apne kaksh me viraajmaan hone ki..

And we have to put shri before the name of any senior and the number of shri(s) depends upon the year in which the senior is. For example, we have to put shri five times before his name if the senior is in the fifth year! 

Standing outside the room of seniors for two hours, singing and dancing for them is all we get to do after we come back from the college.. First week was quite rough but as the seniors got more used to the juniors, the intensity decreased gradually. 

But for me again, nothing goes straight. Least to say, the seniors hate me more than others because in their opinion I complained to the authorities.. another moment for *sigh*

Chalo, let's not bicker about it too much, going forth to the next part

THE FRIEND PART

Now, what surprised me the most in my college is that I am the only one from Delhi. And that too in all the years. There were people mostly from M.P, Maharashtra and other adjoining states. But no one is from proper North India. It is difficult to adjust with people who come from an entirely different culture altogether. But I am trying to be as flexible as possible. 

My room mate is from Jabalpur, another small town in MP. Apparently, he had been living in a hostel since his class 5th.  At first I thought he was a good fellow. But later I realised what an obnoxious little weed he is. Bossing around seems to be his favourite hobby. And my god! he is so blunt, in his speech and his manners too. I wouldn't want to write all the unnecessary details but one thing is for sure, that he doesn't qualify for being my friend. I was quite perturbed by this fact but I got a very soothing advice in the meantime that, even I should not treat him as my friend. Just treat him like a room mate. And after implementing it, I was so relieved. Half of my pressure seemed to have evaporated. 
Actually, from what I have observed, people from small towns have a very basic problem of inferiority complex. They have to press their issues harder to prove that they are not any inferior. That's why they act so rigidly and take everything for granted. Although, for people of big cities like Delhi, there are a lot of misconceptions, major one being that we have a lot of attitude and are quite un-adjusting, I found I adapt to every situation whatever it is. But still, these people from smaller towns fail to take cognizance of any such activity and go forward with their pre-conceived notions. Being from a bigger town, I had to adjust the most to the bare minimum facilities. And being away from my family, it was a really hard part. I would call my dad three times a day and talk to him for hours altogether. He is a very patient listener. He would stop whatever work he would've been doing and solely focus on what I had to say. 
I had assumed my other batchmates would've been going through the same situations but I found them perfectly alright! Nobody was interested in talking to his parents at home. My room mate just called his father once in just 15 days and that too only to ask for some money. It was a real shocker indeed. But later I found out that all of them had in a way stayed away from their homes at one point or another. And all of them had stayed in Kota(Rajasthan) for their entrance preparation, away from their homes. So, they were obviously far more trained and accustomed to such lifestyle. So, obviously I am the weak petal !
I am keeping a very low-profile in the college. I am interacting with everyone but nobody has become a very good friend of mine and I don't think it would be easy for me to find one in this place! The major problem is, I have nothing to talk about with them. And being just the beginning, we're under scanner all 24 hrs. So, to avoid all the judgements, I play particularly safe. 

THE COLLEGE

My college is, well, too cheap for a private university. I had anticipated it to be more like the Manipal university but it turned out to be just better than your average govt. college. Even the campus is not that good. I mean, it's huge. Yes, spread across acres of land but there are a lots of different colleges within the same campus. The thing that pinches me the most is that there is no jogging or walking track. I am really fond of morning walks and running but there neither the people nor the college are interested in giving some space for such activities. Another difficulty of being among small towners. I say this because they are developing, no doubt. But are committing the same mistakes that happened in the metropolitan cities. You just subtract 10-15 years from Delhi and you'll get Bhopal. 

The teachers here, well, aren't backward or small towners. They are like Delhi teachers. Crank! Everywhere the teachers are much the same. Actually, they are good. Till now they have been. Atleast to me. But what I have heard from my seniors is a very dark picture of these good faces... 
Hence, the variable adjective. 

And the one thing which gets me really irritated is the drinking problem. 90% of the hostlers drink, then do their 'naare-baazi' and all that weird stuff. I felt like I have come among animals, the first time. The second thing is the use of "tapori" language. Hurling abuses and to such a great extent, was just yak! No sense of whether it's morning or evening, they'll have to use BC in every sentence they use. 

I am glad I used only english abuses. Now I think I will stop them altogether ;) 
Seeing such a behaviour has made me more mannerful I would say :P 

Finally,THE IMPACT ON ME

Spending even such a short time in hostel has turned out to be a bitterwseet experience which in my analysis has had a lot of impact on me. The first one being the change in my eating habits ! I had found the mess food really awful, every daal tasted the same. And the taste also bore the touch of central and south india, so naturally it repelled me. So, I would just eat 2-3 chapatis all throughout the day. But it's good. I have reduced around 4 kgs. I invite all the souls irritated by their weight to join me in the hostel -_-


Also, we're not allowed to roam alone in the campus, so I am just confined to my room and college for most of the time. It's a real shame that I haven't seen the actual Bhopal ever since I got there.
My college is also good 10-15 kms away from the main city and transportation is a real hassle. So, I intrinsically avoid going to places. 


The next thing I can think of is, now I value this life more than ever. Seeing cadavers and dissecting actual human heads, I now know the importance of human lives much better. And also the value of human relationships. What came to me as a rude shock was the fact that how come in this country of 1.2 billion people, there was nobody to claim these men and women? 

There are times when I am too irritated, just questioning myself "why did I ever come to this place?" and sometimes others, it's just normal. Neither too bad nor too good. And these mood swings will go on. The only change is, living in hostel I have realised that we take for granted our loved ones. They are subjected to our frustrations and irritations regularly but in hostel, you have to deal with these things yourself. You cannot vent out your anger on any other person. I think this has been the most ominous change I have witnessed in the hostel life. 
Now, the major question is "Am I enjoying the hostel life? " I don't think so. Well, frankly, if I would have got any other chance to stay near my home, I would have pounced upon it like a hungry lion. But it's the way of life. And I need to prove myself something this time and hence, I won't back off now. I just can't let my emotions guide my actions this time. It's been a new beginning, not a great one in my opinion but I am sure it would not turn out to be a mistake. 

 "Live like you own it, otherwise don't live it at all

So, that was all I had to say. I don't know when will I get time for my next post. BDS is a tough course. I had been underestimating it but now I realise how much one has to study for it. And a hostler is never free. Singing songs for the seniors even at 12pm at night, acting like a spot boy for them and so many other roles, is quite time consuming ;) We do it because seniors will only help us in the later years. For example, we have to carve out the whole tooth from a simple cuboidal wax block. Like sculpturing. So, seniors might change just one or two cuts of the block and our carvings would get an A. That's how it works in medical line. You help your seniors, they help you in return. 
I know everything won't turn out to be perfect but I hope I will make things perfect for myself. I will slog and slog some more in desperate times. I have many more stories to write about but I don't see their relevance. In the course of life, you just remember big things. Nobody remembers what they said to their friend on a particular day in class 5th. So, I am filtering every incidences whether they are worth remembering or not. I want to keep my mind as free as possible. I have better stuff to fill it with ;) 
I don't know how to end this post. I can't think of any flowery ending, so I'll just have to be contended with plain old bye and have a good life :) 

P.S- What if anybody from my college reads my blog? Would I be dead? :P 


Thursday 12 September 2013

The wrong truth

AJ and SP were sitting at my home yesterday... I told them about my blog-

Me: Hey! Listen, I need to show you something..

AJ: What is it now, dude? Don't tell me you got another pair of shoes..

Me: What? Why? Well, actually, I did get myself one!

SP: Whoa, motherfucker! You are breaking all the records of girls even..

AJ: He has now every kind of shoe.. Let us gift him a barbie too !

SP: High-five!

Me: Finished? Coming to the point.. here look at this... It's my blog.

AJ: Blog? What the hell is that shit?

SP: It's a writing place.

AJ: You write? I bet our ***** mam will be really happy..

SP: Holy shit! Look at this!

*Reads some of these posts*

AJ: What the fuck dude! I don't talk like that!

SP: Why don't you mention me so often?

Me: Come on guys, I just post our conversations cos I have nothing else to post!

*in the meantime*

SP: AJ look here.. most of the blogs are of girls!

AJ: No kidding! Guys write shit! That's why blogging is a girls' thing!

*AJ and SP exchange piquant looks. And finally burst into laughter*

Me: Whatever dude! Atleast I do something creative in my free time

AJ and SP: You are awesome Ms. Singhal !


Sunday 8 September 2013

What guys want from girls

This seems to be an interesting topic.. ;)
No nonsense, just bullet points straightaway-

  • A veryyy big beautiful smileeee! This is a must. A big smile that can cheer anybody up. That can make me forget who I am, that can make me realise that my sole purpose in life is to keep that smile intact.. a smile which can make me forget all my worries and a smile, for which I could accept my death.
  • A die hard lover! This is not gibberish but it's a fact. Any person, especially guys would want his better half to think of him as the best person in this world. That she should reside her full confidence in him and just let herself be his completely.
  • She must not talk to all the other boys with the same lovable tone.. ! i.e. I should get some special treatment.
  • Please, No Hypocrisy! You say one thing and do one another, what is happening? It is next to humiliation. I think this applies to men too.
  • She should keep her promises. No last moment no-show and all other embarrassing stuffs. I wouldn't want to wait for her to turn up sitting alone in a cafe!
  • Definitely honest. Brutally honest.
  • A patient listener and an active adviser.
  • A nice dressing sense would be appreciable..
  • And finally, good sex would do too.. sigh!
There are other things I would want to include too, but it would then become like my shaadi resume ;)We don't want that do we? 

chalo, fir let's talk about other things..
It's a bright for a sunday morning,no? It's been a good sunday so far. I went to the park. Made a new friend, read the Hindu,yes mera Hindu :D, mom ki thodi taang kheechi, and read some way old blogs! I am also listening to oldies right now! They are good..
Here's my playlist for a oldie, sunny Sunday :
1)Avril Lavigne's - Under my Skin and The best Damn thing(album)
2) Enrique iglesias- somebody's me
3) RDB- Tu bin Bataye, khalbali !
4) Rockstar- Kun faya kun
5) Delhi 6- Delhi 6, rehna tu
6) Lilly Allen- LDN, The fear

Among other things, I ate a parantha after 4 good years of abstinence. After today, I think my next bite of it would be in the next life..(seriously I hate paranthas). Don't you think we have so limited options for breakfast? Sandwiches,omelettes,fruits. That's all! Now please don't tell me aloo poori is an option o_O 

Want more? No? I'll tell you,anyways.. I have many plans for today-
1) I am going to watch ghanchakkar..yeah! right! :D
2) Then I'll be going for some shopping. I should not say 'some' :P
3) And I'll have another addition to my shoe collection. This time, I think I'll buy those flat, trendy sneakers.
4) And by night, I also plan to finish Anna Karenina. Straight story, no shit. And this book lasted whole 2 days! So, cheers for Tolstoy! 

Okay enough for now! This week, I plan to post everyday, obviously, these posts will be not as eccentric as my posts have been in the last few days *deep deep sighs* , here are the categories:-
1) Religion
2) Politics
3) Emotions
4) Sports
5) Environment

Yours truly,

A going to be Soorma bhopali :D 

Saturday 7 September 2013

the good, the bad and the ugly

The good:


1) Got a rare "gift" from a very close friend of mine..I gave her my love in return! Haahha! bechari  :D :D
2) Bossed around my sister and told my sister that she was brought in our family from atop a garbage box!
3) Asked a KFC waiter where KFC was...
4) He brought my order up instantly after that.
5) Gave my mobile to a 4 year old boy while waiting at the Doctor's to play with.
6) And the milk of human kindness and joyfulness was pouring out of me while doing that.

The bad:


1) The doctor was doing vertigo test on me and brought out a big needle, shoved it in my ear tube. Just when he did, I stood up, he asked me what happened. I said I had something to ask him immediately- Are there more engineers in Bangalore or dogs?
2) He sighed for a minute and then finally said," Kutte kam honge"
3) And then he ordered 2 more attendants in the room :\
4) Saw shudh desi romance.. enough  said -_-
5)The AC above me was not working in the hall.
6) All other ACs were pretending to be heaters.


The ugly:

1) The uncle sitting besides me in the hall was constantly chewing paan and I couldn't bear it.
2) I had to give up my last row eat because of him :(
3) The boy to whom I gave my mobile, asked his mom," Mujhe is doctor ke paas kab tak aate rehna padega?"
4) I showed him my tongue after that!
5)  Doctor told me I was fine. o_O

Thursday 5 September 2013

Teacher's day hate post

I just hate teachers. Hate them to death sometimes. This hatred towards teachers primarily arose from the last two years of my schooling. Because the teachers I got in 11th and 12th grade were the worst people you can ever deal with in the whole world. Take my physics teacher for example, a jat by birth, an idiot by choice and a dickhead when it came to teaching. A stark introvert and a big bully, he was a teacher that used to bully his students. And I am not saying this because I hate him to death but because he really was. You won't believe it but he occasionally used abusive language for his students. And my god! I was so surprised to see a master-type teacher in my private and so reputed school. I still remember my first meeting with him like it happened yesterday.
I was seated in the middle seat of the middle row in my class and turn by turn he was asking students their name and where they lived and also the subjects they hate. Came my turn and I was standing like pillar with a mouth and coyly told my name "Abhiss.. umm..Abhishek Singhal." He raised his eyebrows, murmured something to himself and thunderd, "abe tera naam kya hai?"
I was more surprised than scared because I never expected such gentle looking man could have such a speech. Boy, I got so angry at that time that I nearly exploded "Abhishek Singhal, dearest sir" I thundered even louder than him, my voice echoing through every corner of the room. He looked well-shaken and now in a slightly timid voice asked me where I lived. When I told so, he said out of the blue,"Mujhe pitwa mat diyo". And I was just dumb struck.

I had to spend my next two years with that bastard. Recalling some other instances, I once had a physics viva and rather than asking me the questions related to the practical, he started off on a very cool note by asking, which chapter is my strongest. I thought maybe he is coming back to his senses but boy! i was so wrong. He was actually preparing to humiliate me to every bone. Asked me the toughest question, I couldn't answer and he was just shouting at me, saying things I wish he hadn't said. I was so devastated by what followed. Like everything good in me has been slowly poisoned. I became more and more disinterested in school, their works and my marks there.. I just didn't give a damn anymore. Results were quite clear. I had fallen from 9.8 CGPA in 10th to 60% in 11th. People and mostly my parents related this slide down to different causes but only I knew what was actually going on. My parents knew too but somehow they couldn't show their helplessness in front of me.

To make things a little better, I thought taking private tuition lessons in 12th was going to be a good idea. Mostly because everyone else in our batch used to take tuitions from him. It was so wrong. Bullying children to take tuition from him. But, I thought it would be the best way to maybe end his bullying. Afterall, my life's at stake. So, I started taking private lessons from him but it also turned out to be such a bad idea. Actually, he didn't use to teach at all. He used compete. Every single time, saying he did this question right in his head and I couldn't do it with a pen even. And paying him Rs 800 an hour, his bullying in the school stopped. Miraculously or by money. But I knew it wasn't going to go like this. I was the star boy at my institute and falling to prey to such asshole, it was below my dignity. Ultimately, I left his classes for good. Bullying started again, but this time I was harsher than ever.
During my last board practical when the tensions were at their peak, he once again started barking at me for no reason "practical dene aa jaiyo!" And some other far fetched abuses. This was it. I was giving my biology practical, stopped writing at this very instant. Shoved away my answer sheet, got up from my chair, rolled up my sleeves, went straight up to him and got so close to his face that I could hear him breath restlessly. Being 6'1'' I  overshadowed him completely. I was visibly agitated. I said sternly,"Do you have a problem sir? "
And boy, the whole class was looking at the two of us. He said," Practical me chutti mat maar liyo!" "Already said and heard" I replied in crisp english. And the man went away. I wasn't expecting this. I was ready to punch him in the face but then again this man surprised me. He never ceased to do so. My biology teacher, was however, more compassionate and more attached to me. He calmed me down and told me to let it go. I complied.

That was the last incident I ever got involved in. I had realised the bigger picture that time. I had a target which was greater than him. He was just an obstacle. I had to overcome him. Sadly, I couldn't. The realisation came too late. The ship had already sailed and I wasn't anywhere near it.

The point is he overpowered me. Like nothing else has done before. He poisoned every good in me slowly and steadily. He damaged my faith, shattered my trust and ruined my emotions. I had to rebuilt myself. My confidence and my sense from scratch. I had completely lost faith in teachers and also in people. But time heals most of the things. And this time, I had whole one full year before me to build myself. I was going to the Aakash institute and the teachers there were so supportive. But still, I didn't let anyone of them get close to me. I was too afraid to think about the repercussions. And then once came a hard time in the institute even and I thought I wasn't ready to handle it. This time I had an option and therefore, I left. Hence, for good 7 months I studied at home without a teacher, without anyone to guide me and I was finally, so close to getting what I wanted, admission to MBBS but then again, the destiny had something else in store for me  and I ended up in BDS. Not bad but certainly not great. I many a times hold him primarily responsible for such a chain of events that lead me to believe exactly opposite of what I used to. I had to rebuilt myself and I think I forgot to include many important pieces of me. That's why I sometimes feel so hollow from inside. Now, I make friends very easily. Like never before. But my friendships are shallower than ever. I am now certainly more meaner and there is a lot more "I" than "we" in my conversations. All of this because of a single man who made taught me the biggest lesson of my life "What people really are". I miss the warmth I had, the compassion with which I used to do every task and the motivation that used  to drive me out of the bed every morning. Now, it's just like the mended glass which can never be the same once it had been cracked.
All of this, all the efforts of other teachers, all my efforts over the past few years, negated and poisoned to every inch because of this one person who I had innocently believed as my parent because we are told that teachers are just like our parents. 

Tuesday 3 September 2013

A lover's voice

Your eyes sparkle like water in the lake..
Your hands float like a feather in the sky..
Your smile is worth dying for a thousand times..

If only I could be with you,
if only I could hold you..
My sleep will return..
My chase will stop..

A thousand Suns wouldn't match your fiery hair,
A thousand roses wouldn't match your magnificent lips,
A thousand deaths wouldn't match one life lived with you..

If only I could be with you..
If only I could hold you..


AJ: Shut the fuck up, you motherfucker! I am trying to read here!
Me:   :\




Thursday 29 August 2013

Just another post.. :D

Hi everyone!  My college might be starting in the first week of September, but believe me the wait seems like eternity. From the past 3 years, I didn't have enough time to raise one eyebrow and look at poor moi today...having all the time in the world to waste...sigh! From the past two months, I have been literally doing nothing. Nothing. Period.
*people discern the relevance* ..... *deep deep sighs*

So, with all the time in the world to waste, I do anything but intellectual tasks. So, no mindful blog posts, no films (because I don't like to get involved) and certainly no video games! I thought I would've fared much better in sports but again something wrong happens everytime when I just start building a rhythm. I had made a routine to go to the park in the morning and cycling in the evening...but..but...but! someone doesn't want me to do all this! So, I have been down with fever, diarrhea due to IBS and what not! That means, I cant even eat solid food properly! Sigh!
And insomnia, well, it's on the peak! But don't worry, I am taking handful of medications for all these stuff. In the morning I have to pop in 5 tablets each- red one, white ones and yellow one! (So near to rainbow!)  In the afternoon and evening, 3 are doing just fine. poor me no? :(  Even I can't believe i am growing so old..  :D
So because my woes never seem to fade away (so much for COL!) a family meeting was called.. (another deep sigh). Now, the main agenda of these family meetings is to give a platform to everyone to give their opinions on a topic.. But the agenda today was to dissect my every bad habit and engrave each one on my forehead literally! >:
So, as expected I got an earful of lectures about my health, about I eating out too much and I being irresponsible ! :P (Don't weep for me! I am alright now! :D)
Now, the fun part in all that trouble you can imagine, was poor moi getting n number of calls from different people at the same time! (What a coincidence!)
Actually, it was quite funny overall...
my father- you do not listen to us at all !
(my phone rings)
me- I will call you later!
person- Why the hell have you not sent me those pictures yet?? (sounding angrier than even my father) :O
me- I am pre-booked right now.. you can scold me later! ;D

And I start laughing... my father sees his helplessness and decides it was enough for the day!:P

And I got a new phone? Did I tell you that? Oh! of course I didnt! :D
Nokia lumia 520! Since then, I am busy updating fb statuses, twitter updates and what's app messages! And poor friends of mine have to bear all my excitement! (I am not sighing for you :P)


So that was all for today.. I am going to end with some pictures I clicked when I used to go on cycling (weep :( weep :( true, they are not of good quality but it's all you can manage with 2 MP.

See the rainbow?



Why do people like roses only? Huh!


You don't have to see the cyclist,
see the weather!


















Sunday 25 August 2013

Let me say it for you

AJ calls me up at 1 a.m and apparently he is on conference with SP too. I oblivious of the fact, answer call curtly.

Me: What the fuck dude? It's 1 a.m!

AJ: I am in a serious situation man..need your help.

Me: I am listening..

AJ : I had ordered food from Ricos.. they have billed me wrong!

Me: What the hell ! Why call me then???

AJ: Cos' you know them well.. you can have better leverage on them than me..

Me: You fucking ******! **********! It's 1 in the morning you big oaf!

AJ and SP coherently: Fucked you!

And the phone hung up. I nodded my head realising I was the victim of their far fetched prank..


*After somedays*

I give a conference call to SP and AJ at around midnight.

Me: So you both coming with me, na?

SP: Where?

AJ: Huh?

Me: Come on dude! Don't tell me you forgot! RJ's birthday?? Ring any bells?

AJ: I thought it was the next month...

SP: Oh shit! He's right.. it's 23rd today! Shit!

AJ: Shit too!

Me: You both are gr8 fuckers! Anyways, I am going to her house, any last correspondence??

AJ: What shall we do? She'd kill us ! Say Something SP!

SP: (Seriously) Hmmm... tell her we are busy arranging a special gift for her...

AJ: Yes, tell her we will drop it by her tomorrow morning!

Me: You are playing with fire here, people! RIP!

*I hang up the phone*

At about 11 a.m in the morning...

AJ and SP call me up (another conference)

SP: You're dead!

AJ: We satyed up all night! You *****!*********************!

SP: You did a pretty ridiculous job setting us up like this..! So much for that..

AJ: Wait a minute... it was all for that....? !!!

SP: Obviously AJ! He fu..

Me: Let me say it for you- I fucked you too !!

AJ and SP coherently: Goddamn ya' ugly bastard!















P.S- Apparently, my dear friends had gone over to the Oberoi's at 1 am to orderd truffles, dark chocolates and brownie cake, spending a little over 3 grand ! I knew they would go the distance for RJ!

P.P.S- She got an extra b'day party a month before because of me.. And as far as AJ and SP were concerned, I managed to make them happy once again by giving their entry fees at the 'Ice lounge'

P.P.P.S- All of this happened on the same day!











Tuesday 20 August 2013

It's always gr8 to talk 2 u !

Day before Rakhi i.e yesterday, SP and I were chilling at his house

Me: I have a cousin sister and she has a real brother.

SP: Okss..but why are we suddenly talking about your family?

Me: tomorrow's rakhi...so I was doing some maths and I found out it's a no profit and no loss statement. That's where the problem lies.

SP: Even I was having a bit of a problem...

Me: I always give my cousin sister Rs 1100 every year on rakhi and so does my cousin brother to my real sister.

SP: Actually, the thing is I find AJ's sister quite hot...

Me: So, what my mother gives to them, my bua returns it all..

SP: You think AJ would be good enough to set up a date for us?

Me: Basically, what goes around comes back around..

SP: But AJ is nuts, I should call her myself..

Me: This year it's going to be different. I am going to give my cousin sister Rs. 2100 !

SP: Let me just find her number (starts glancing his contacts lists)

Me: Or maybe Rs. 501 shall do. From where would I arrange the extra cash ? :|

SP : Got it bro! I should go to AJ's house on the pretence of rakhi !

Me: Oh! Damn it! It's so hard...! Or maybe I can give her an extra gift in addition to cash... !

SP: Oh! shit! AJ's mom knows my mom..what if they find out... > | <

Me: But which gift??? Ahhhh! Let my mom handle it! D:<

SP: I'll be doomed if anyone found out...!  Ahhh! Screw her sister! I'll find another girl! She ain't worth the risk... You always give me the right advice bro! Love you man!

Me: Love you too man! Always great to talk to you too! :)





Sunday 18 August 2013

Ogling with the badass!

Me and my friend AJ were roaming at Janpath market and this time an epic fail happened.

Me: (poking AJ) Hey man, look at that.. (pointing to a girl)

AJ: Wow dude! Beauty!

AJ continues looking at her while walking and I start regretting my decision to share with him what I had seen ;)

Me: Stop it man! You look cheap!

AJ: Yeah.. whatever!

He doesn't stop looking. The look turns to stare and stare eventually turns to ogle. I couldn't take it anymore. So, I punched AJ hard in his ribs!

AJ: Dude! WTF! What's wrong with you?

Me: What's wrong with you man? Do you know what you were doing? Cheapo!

AJ:  But dude, you only poked me...

Me: Of course I did! It's a reflex action! You see a girl, you poke- hey man look at that! You take a look and turn away! You don't keep staring for 5 minutes!!!

AJ: I needed a good look man! And how would I know for how long I've been looking at her?

Me: Ahh! (I punch him on his back this time! )

Me: You bloody *********************!!!!

AJ: We've got a potty mouth among ourselves ladies and gentleman!

Me: Ahhh!!!!

(After sometime, we moved far away from the crowd and left the girl behind)

AJ: Dude! I think I am in love !

Me: No kidding! with who?

AJ: That girl! I think I should go back and tell her this!

This was it! I hold him from his shoulders and start shaking him violently!

Me: You fucking *******************!*************************!*!**************!!!

AJ: Whoa dude! Stop it! No need to become a potty mouth here again! I will suppress my feelings if you say so..

Me: AHhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

Friday 9 August 2013

Life: Under Construction!

Disclaimer: This is a guest post from my favorite blogger Pooja di (Thoughtless Ramifications).

The Post :

When “Mr. I Heard You” aka “Abhishek Singhal” aka “Chhotu” asked me to write a guest post for his blog, I readily agreed. I had to, I had no choice. Even if I paid someone and asked them to post my article on their blogs, I am sure they would have turned me down with a smirk and this guy here was jumping into the well readily, without me having to push him into it. :D With a huge smile on my face, I did say a yes, but, I now faced a bigger problem. What do I write about? I had a lot of options namely – a book review, a self-help post, my signature styled thoughtless posts, and other rants about my newly married status, but, I didn’t want to write anything on any of these. I wanted to write something about quarter life crisis, but I decided to call it “Life: Under Construction.”


I know many of us face issues while choosing the right course, the right career and the right partner. They seem to be the most important aspects of our lives and they seem to be the most difficult of choices to make.  I have faced all these issues myself. Now, when I look back at them, I smile to myself thinking of the ruckus I created when I had to make those choices I did.  Let me share with you my experiences.


After 12th boards, I wanted to choose Arts. I wanted to get into either journalism or advertising. But, my parents thought I was a very good student and I should take up Engineering. I loathed Engineering. Now, me being a good student had nothing to do with the course I had to choose, right? But, well, my parents and I did some bargaining and I ended up doing my graduation and subsequently postgraduation in Biochemistry, and let me tell you I love the subject, second to none. End result: I am happy with the course I chose. It might not have been my first choice, but, it wasn’t my last choice either.  Sometimes it is better to choose a middle ground. A bargain that keeps you and everyone around happy is something that is worth the bargain.


Coming to career, I had got selected in a very reputed company through campus recruitment and what did I do? I joined the company and left it after 3 months, because I didn’t love the job. It was being a little mean to my well-being and I chose to quit. My parents weren’t happy once again, but, I had to put my foot down. I sat at home for 5 months without a job. It is not that I wasn’t getting any other offers. I was getting many, but, nothing made me happy. I, then joined an organization many of them had asked me not to join. But, I did and let me tell you I loved working there. I miss it so much nowadays after having moved to US.  Had I listened to others and not joined this company, I probably would have joined some other company, but, I must say that this experience, I, probably, wouldn’t have got anywhere else. Sometimes, there is no bargain - you don’t like the choices others give you and they think that your choice is going to be a big mistake. But, if you believe in your choice, go for it, even if it turns out to be a mistake, it is going to be “YOUR OWN MISTAKE” and you will have no one to blame. Trust me, blaming yourself is much better than regretting living on a choice others made for you.


Coming to marriage, well, I took my chances I must say. After seeing a few proposals, I said ‘yes’ to a guy very soon. You must be thinking that maybe he was everything I wanted in my life-partner. No, infact, he was totally opposite of what I wanted in my guy. I wanted a guy who was a nerd, loved books and looked like a totally responsible son-in-law. But, err, my husband, on the first meeting, was anything but that. He was this guy with a tattoo and ear studs and to me, didn’t look like he would love books. Infact, he doesn’t. But, I still said a ‘yes’ thinking he would anyway say a ‘no’. Instead, he said a yes and now am married to him for 8 months and he is a gem of a guy. What made me say a ‘yes’ to him? The realization that every person or everything need not be the way they appear to be. There is always a layer of truth we ought to see with our, err, I don’t know what to call it, say, intuitional or emotional sense. Sometimes, you need to listen very carefully to your own self to know what you really want. There is always a conflict between our emotional and practical senses. Choose the right one at the right time. How will you know which is right? Well, your own intuition will guide you. Might not happen in every situation, but, it does happen when you most need it.


I am no antaryaami nor am I a person who has dealt with major problems in life. But, to each person, his/her own problem is of a greater magnitude.  Also, at a stage where we are building a persona of our own, even minute problems appear to disturb us to a great extent. Don’t be afraid. Don’t give up on your dreams. Don’t lose yourself.  Just remember, you are responsible for your own life. Make your own mistakes. Blaming anyone for the choice they made for you will not help you nor them.  Remember, it is your own life and no self-help books nor any motivational talks like these will help you. You have to be your own guide because you know yourself the best. Lead a happy life and don’t worry. Building and rebuilding is a process we will have to keep doing throughout our lives, because it is, after all, a “Life: Under Construction”

P.S- Thanks a ton for such a lovely post pooja di. It's a masterpiece, I can bet on that ! 

Monday 22 July 2013

Vaishno Devi Trip

I am exhausted ! But still I am writing a post for all of you...sigh. Oh please don't thank me now... I am always this benevolent! :P

Seriously, I am exhausted. I have just been back from Vaishno Devi and after ascending and descending 26 km of mountains every muscle of my body is screaming with aches ! Now I won't be reviewing my trip like we used to do after undertaking school trips but would just share some momentous experiences I had during the trip. Before I start let me warn you that you'll find use of "fuck" a lot and you'll be given too much information at some places. So proceed on your own risk!

I was fuck bored past two weeks as my fucking no-good holidays are going on. Yeah, holidays, cos I am waiting for a counselling date for a college!  Just out of the blue my I got a fucking idea to go to vaishno devi to have some sort of change. I always loved the idea of trekking and what better place to test your strength than vaishno devi ! So as excited as I was, I announced, no, I boasted that I will reach the bhawan within 2 hours. *proud look*.


Now, within  2 days all the necessary arrangements for the trip were made, train seats were booked and me and my dad were ready to outdo each other during the trip. It's a real perk to have a father working in railways.


Now my experience:-
  • First AC coupe are just next to crap. I was bitten by a spider there!
    No I have not become the spider man!
  • I couldn't sleep in the train. I listened to every fucking artist during that night. Rihanna, Ellie Goulding, One direction, JT, Pink, ludacris,U2,the verve and what not! Even the fucking Miley Cyrus! (She is now not as hot as she used to be...sigh! )
That was all about the train. Then we reached Jammu, took Innova to Katra and it was a gr8 ride especially at 6 in the morning.
  • At Katra, our hotel room was big enough for atleast 8 people and its view was amazing. What was also amazing that its owner (probably in his mid 30s) touched my dad's feet and I was so laughing at him, teasing him all the way,"Dad, aap buddhe ho gaye ho! " :D
Then we got ready to trek up to the bhawan, and my packing was just like britishers I tell you. Bags, bottles, caps...man I never felt so organised  !
That part aside, we reached banganga(the lowermost checkpoint) at about 10 and waited for more than an hour to get past the security checks. It was tormenting.Finally, at 11:30 probably, we started our trek.
  • I was already tired but still continued to drudge on. It was raining heavily on saturday and we were literally walking in clouds.
       I then noticed something- All the people undertaking the journey were mostly males. And that too of lower category. A female specimen of human species was hardly spotted.
    Now, imagine my plight- walking in rain and that too uphill, and not a single girl to be seen! Fuck! My eyes got too tired !
    Finally I had to say this to my dad- "Daddy, sookha pad raha hai ! "
    "Par beta yahan par to itni tez baarish ho rahi hai ! Teri tabiyat to theek hai na?" was what I got in return. Poor dad ! Sookhe ke baare me aap kya jano??? :D :D *puppy face*
  • Now, back to trekking, I found the slope too steep and too wet. With the horse shit scattered all around the path, it was all the more a horrendous experience of trekking. For my dad, however it was a different thing. Somewhere in the middle I lost him. Yes, he was literally running on the mountain! So, I was left water-less, company-less and money-less during the way!
    I got so angry at him for leaving me like this that I might have shouted "WTF , WTF " too loud to be heard by people far ahead of me. Finally, I had to beg to donkey-walla for his phone as my prepaid number did not work in J&K. I called my dad, gave him a piece of my mind and the donkey-walla could not gather up courage to ask me for money after seeing my grim face! Anyways, I thanked him in the best possible way and continued to ardhakuvari  which is the mid-way of the journey.

  • By the time I reached there I was already dead to every bone. Just then came the taunt I expected," So I am not as old as you are "   :\
  • So I had to ride at the back of a donkey/pony/horse for the rest of the way up and it was terrible to see the plight of that horse. I touched his neck for bonding but found it was quite swollen due to the beatings by his master. I wish I could have done something for these poor animals.

  • Now, we had to catch the train the same day at 8:30 pm and we had reached the Bhawan at just 3:30 pm. So there was no time for luch or anything, and we hurried to prayers and then at 4:45 pm raced back to Katra. I ran, my dad ran and because my dad had seen my real age decided to take a horse with us. It also ran. And we reached Katra in exact 2 hours whereas it normally takes 3 hours to reach down. There was no time for praising each other as we had a train to catch at 8:30 pm. So, we just told the driver to go as fast as he can and he literally drove at 100km/hr during the return trip to Jammu.
    Finally we were able to catch the train in just the nick of time.
Other things I noticed :-


  • There are people everywhere. Like cockroaches they have messed up every fucking place.
    But in the eyes of god we are equal. We are small and our place in the social hierarchy is quite insignificant to him.

  • We plan too much and God disposes each and every one of them, all for our own good :)

  • Now, the main thing- girls travel more during the evening. I spotted many gr8 specimens when we were descending down ! :D :D

  • Most of them were married :(

  • Parle-G biscuits are also a feast if you are starving to death !

  • Nike shoes are the best shoes for hill-stations. My shoes look as good as they were before the trip. My dad's Adidas's shoes look like they have been to a crime scene!

  • Riding uphill on a horse is a pleasure you shouldn't miss. And riding on a horse downhill is a plight you should never endure! I sat on the horse during my descend for half an hour or so and now I am not able to sit without a pillow! And FYI- it hurts badly at some place else too :( :(

  • The horse walla was asking me again and again where I was from. He was pointing out to the fact that I was out of breath in such a short distance. I just kept consoling myself by saying,'I am going to be a fucking doctor for god's sake, not milkha singh! " :|

  • I want to go again there, this time completing the trekking all by myself.

  • If it hadn't been for first AC in our return trip, you all would've probably been reading my obituary by now! It's not that fucking good but certainly not as bad !

  • I have to go to Bhopal this Sunday, so I hope I will get over my fucking boredom. :\

  • Beyonce is better than Riri. And lady gaga is best of them all. Also Justin beiber dosen't sound like a girl anymore. He sounds like a dinosaur. Seriously, his love songs, I mean what the fuck, they are like you in 80s. Pink floyd is even archaic but their songs still got the groove!

  • Never mind my bickering about the songs, just enjoy the rest of your fucking day as I am. 
This was the view from our hotel.


This was what walking in clouds like




P.S- I am watching my sister meddling with her new xperia which she got as a gift on her 14th birthday! This is outrageous! I am fuck 19 and I still can't get a firefox bicycle !!! And what did I get on my 14th birthday? Kisi aur ki shaadi ka dinner!! Where is the equality these days???? :\

Anyways, jai mata di !

Monday 8 July 2013

REVENGE


                                                 "Success is the best revenge"


Said the wryly man to his counterpart as he sipped his drink from the exquisite persian cup. He looked handsome, suave and his well-developed 17-inch biceps roared of his masculinity.  He seemed like some kind of CEO of some company, given the fact he was dining at one of the best hotels of Delhi- The Claridges. I happened to be seated behind him and was hearing their conversation quite eagerly when suddenly they stopped talking altogether. The man turned around, looked at me and said sternly in a perfect British accent," Do you want something?". I was already gasping at his impeccable hairstyle when I paused my admiration for a second. I knew how embarrassed it should be to be pin-pointed of such rude manners. But my mind was just swinging back and forth from their conversation to the present scenario. I could wait no longer and blurted out," Oh! No, not at all. I couldn't help but listen to your conversation about revenge." I said. He was as impressed by my speech as I was because it oozed with confidence and not some random pauses of umm, aa etc. "Yes." He announced," Success is the best revenge". I wanted to muddle with his brain, playfully, so I said wittily," And you seem to have gotten lots of it." My last sentence brought an enormously broad grin to his face and after exchanging some pleasantries, we decided to leave the topic as is and I concentrated back on the Belgian chocolate cake in front of me.

Coming back home, I let my brain digress about the topic some more. Suddenly, a mild realisation hit me complementing the glass cup I had dropped down at the same instant. It's pieces lie shattered around my feet. But rather than picking them up I rushed to read the HT sunday magazine. It had the article about Anurag kashyap and again I noticed the same thing I had been observing all around myself.

          "You need to be successful to prove that others were wrong to underestimate you"


This mantra was what I had been fed right from the beginning. And it's implications have been reverberating around me for quite some time. The cacophony of the same mantra had been humming very intensely during the last two years of school. I had already developed a hatred towards it, given the fact I am blunt, in my speech and in my ways. I plan later and act first. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Coming back to the topic, a lot has been already said about it. A lot more is yet to come. Afterall, many lifestyle books and many therapy sessions are based on it. How can one challenge the sanctity of this mantra? But I can and I will.


                                            "Revenge is the best revenge"

This is not exactly the mantra I dwell on but still it sounds way much better than our previous one.
We live in a dharmic world. Though many of us do not follow the religion as rigidly as we used to but religion always gets behind our ass. And it pinches us in the right area. Today, it is coming back to even with us in the form of lifestyle gurus and doctors who have excellently conundrum-ised the religious principles to more suitable demands of modern assholes. The favourite one being-"Forgive and live on". But do they fully tell you to let go? No. We are told to live with a grudge which can only be erased if we become successful in what we endear. How is that supposed to calm me down?

I had also embarked about this notion 'success is the best revenge'. But I have learned that what I am really doing is just shifting my goal from the larger target and giving undue importance to lame people. People who are in the hindsight not even worth anything to me. How can you live with a grudge all along the way? Atleast, I cannot dwell upon this feeling of 'revenge' within me. I cannot let it guide my every action, motivated to a wrong cause.Our actions, maybe to impress others or maybe even to benefit ourselves don't you think should have something more substantial, something more concrete force behind them rather than revenge? This notion to avenge becomes a burden before we even know it. Why do you think all these students are committing suicides these days? They have been fed on a dangerous principle. It will backfire. Depression is mostly about the things we were not able to achieve. But the thought of impressing other people is also a major factor behind it, don't you think? Basically revenge acts as a slow poison and it's effects go unaccountable most of the times. I think I am diluting my point here. So without digressing further, the crux of the whole instalment is that you cannot live your life on a platform that itself is quite shaky. We need better principles to guide us. And we surely need to act much more wisely than we are now. The world would have been a better place if we did.

Wednesday 3 July 2013

My Morning Odyssey

Mornings are cited as the best time to start our work. There is "Satvik-ness" in the air and don't you feel somehow all the air got automatically filtered? It feels newer and fresher for some strange reason. But not many of us can enjoy this time of the day. And no prizes for guessing who.

   I adore mornings, i really do. Like God's own time. I picture mornings as a beautiful girl rising from her sleep. her locks flowing down incessantly as she curls out of her delicate bed. Her smooth, soft hair shimmer like gold when the first rays of the sun kiss them gently. Then she gets out of her bed, stretching her arms like a princess and the world stops for a second to adore her. Her face glimmers  even more and your world just rises and falls with her awakenings!

  *pauses for a second, remembers something and a sheepish smile spreads across his face*

Now that's how I portray the mornings of every girl. Only girls can look beautiful all throughout the day,especially the mornings. And a girl in yoga pants in morning, I tell you is not a bad sight at all !

  But my mornings, well, let's just say, I do not get up from my bed so gracefully. For the past two months or so, I never even saw the face of mornings. The sun would have crossed the Zenith when my life began. But now, I am trying to fall back into a more "normal" routine and it's such a pain in the ass. Let me tell you more about my breathtaking mornings :D -

  A boy more than 6 feet tall is sleeping hideously in his small bed in a rather small room. For some reason, he has an AC installed but to his bad luck, it just creates the winters of Siberia when it is on  probably because it is enormously big for his small room. The boy clenches to his sheet more tightly, sleeping like a curled up dog with his legs just about to touch his head. His father sees the plight of the boy and switches off the AC but forgets to open the doors and windows for ventilation. So, he gets up sensing he is just near about choking to death. He sees the time, make calculations of the time he spent sleeping and when he found out it's been just 4 hours, he switches on the AC once more. He tries to doze off only to rise half an hour later to switch off his sister's mobile ringing incessantly in the other room. Again he tries to sleep but for no good.

 
  So, he clumsily gets up like a slave chained up to the neck, with his head bursting with pain. Makes way to the dining table where he positions himself just at the centre of everybody's attention. But when nobody cheers him up , he wimps across the hall to take a glance in the mirror. His hair seem to resemble the body hair of a frightened cat,the face all cramped up with crease lines of the fight his old rugged pillow offered when he placed his head on him, and eyes falling out of their place like an alien. He literally fixes his face, decides to witness the weather outside. Walks to the balcony with his sleepy, dirty eyes and views the world as a king who would take a view of his kingdom. Nuts, i tell you..He doesn't have a kingdom.


 The only sights he could get were an uncle in his bare minimum, hanging their bulging belly out of his balcony and disgustingly picking up his nose. He looks the other way, only to find a fatter aunty staring at him like she is seeing a chimpanzee from the zoo. He still not gives up hope and makes his cranky eyes work harder to gather a view only to find more hustle-bustle than even a fish market. He drops the idea of going to the park, scratches his head like his dog's belly, takes one last long look at the world, sways his head sideways and murmurs,"FUCK YOU"

Friday 28 June 2013

Dafuq is wrong with you???

My friend AJ seems like taking a lot in these days. And me being his good friend, decided to increase his stress ;) Here's what happened when he asked me out for the movies-

AJ - Hey man! What are you doing this friday?

ME- Nothing I guess..

AJ- Then let's go to the movies, there is one....

ME- No

AJ- Why?

ME- I have work to do

AJ- But you said you were doing nothin'

ME- You said it yourself, I have to do something

AJ- But it's nothing

ME- Exactly, and it takes a lot of patience

AJ- You have some deep seated issues in you man!

ME- Don't you dare say that again! It's you who is always with f*cked up problems. it's like your problems f*cked each other and had kids which f*cked among themselves to produce more f*cked up problems! So you want to go to the movies to find solace from your f*ck world!!!

AJ- Sheesh man! Did you wake up to be a d*ck all day?

ME- No, I woke up to be a d*ck today as well.

AJ- Ahhhh....!


Saturday 22 June 2013

Awkward facebook moments

We have all been through some uncomfortable times especially on facebook when we plan before doing every move, wait, what if he comments on my status? what if he doesn't comment on my status? and lots more. But when the actual time comes all the things go haywire and we either end up looking as clowns or we assume to have been made one!

This might not be the case in general, but believe me these "virtual" facebook conversations make me very uncomfortable at times. So much that I feel like throwing up. Here's my list of the weirdest facebook moments -
  • when some acquintance sends you fb friend request and you don't know what to do with it. Then when you meet that person after somedays, this fb topic comes up where he asks,'hey! you didn't accept my request till yet? Did you not receive it?'

    No, actually..umm..my computer has a tendency to send these requests to spam..

    Dude! Spam is for emails!

    Is it? Oh! So sorry, I will talk to the manufacturers right away!!!!
  • When some known person sends you friend request but then for some unknown reason you two avoid any conversation for days altogether. Only the occasional likes on photos keep your relationship alive and makes you realise,'oh! yes, I also know that guy!'

    Then one day you make up your mind and decide to break the silence.
    Hey dude! Wass'up?

    I'm fine dude, how 'bout you?

    Good...

    Great...

    And after that the silence spreads across the chat box once again! (epic, huh?)
  • Now when you do know a person, it is a different case altogether. You are really close to each other and meet on regular basis. Only you do not have anything to talk about on facebook.

    When is the next class?

    Tomorrow..

    Ok..

    And you whisper to yourself- why did I ask that? I have been going there on every tuesday for months!
  • Then there are sometimes when you befriend someone on the internet and add you as a facebook friend. You have added them as your fb friend and wonder- That is a very good person, you know. But what do I talk to him about? And what do I call him- Mr. or Ms. S? That's too formal ! S? That's too lame! Deedee? Bhaiya? Uncle? Get outta here!

    Anyways you overcome  this difficulty and somehow manage  to start a conversation..

    Hi there!

    Hi !

    Nice to see you here!

    Me too! Me too!

    So tell me more about yourself..

    I am 26 years old working in USA at xyz company. I have one mom and one dad in India!

    Somehow you see things going in the wrong direction but after the last answer you again wonder- Hey! Wait! Am I on the dating site? I must be talking to his brother or sister!
    Seriously, conversations with unknown people can be so traumatising and yet interesting! (How ironic!)
  • Now in other situations we all have a friend who posts the pictures of his unfinished meal in a restaurant ! These are the most epic failures! Their half-eaten dishes remind you that you still belong to the human race and from the next time onwards you finish your meal properly! ( to not to look like an animal..hopefully!)

    I so wonder at these people. That guy really likes his food. He thinks I cannot afford to buy it !

     
  • And now comes my favourite part- The girl photos!
    These girls are really a creation of their universe! They click their photo themselves first of all. That's okay, I guess. Not all of us are blessed with kind friends who can take our snaps... But one thing I fail to understand is why do they always tilt while making a pose? Their head is always tilted to 45 degrees, like it has fallen from their necks! Then there is that weird smile. Who knows why do they smile so much? Is their life too happy? Again, who knows? sigh...
    And have you ever wondered why only their face is visible on photographs most of the time. What? Are they shy to show off the rest of their bodies? Maybe they think that everyday is halloween and they have to scare the rest of us by making their face extra extra extraaaaaa largeee!!! lol !
I am clearly too tired of using facebook, hearing about my boy-friends whine about their relationship status, and girl-friends about their love status(es) that they post million times a day! And what can I say about the party snaps. Relative's function- there's an album for that, going to the mall, here's another album for that and what not !

I have a small head my friends and in there resides a rather smaller unused organ popularly called- abhishek's brain. It is too small to be able to process such complex informations. So it decided to create a new facebook account with only 8 friends who just always share the garbage bin photos! And my tiny little brain likes it so much!! (Such a happy ending!)

Again you all can send me your hate mails at- iheardyoutheblogger@gmail.com
and this time I hope I have risen above the sick comedy ! :D

P.S- Tomorrow the supermoon will be seen and you'll have real chance to observe the craters of the moon very clearly. So, all you photography lovers buy a binocular or a telescope in addition to your cameras and you can capture this wonderful moment at about 2000 to 2030 hours (if you are not a technical person because actual supermoon is captured just before it rises up the horizon). And I am talking about photographing the moon through telescope!
If you are not using a telescope or binocular, this article about capturing the supermoon might interest you-http://mostlylisa.com/blog/supermoon/

P.P.S- Yes, I know photography but people don't interest me. Surely, the moon does!

P.P.P.S- Man of steel sucks! Don't even waste your time on it even on the television!