I just hate teachers. Hate them to death sometimes. This hatred towards teachers primarily arose from the last two years of my schooling. Because the teachers I got in 11th and 12th grade were the worst people you can ever deal with in the whole world. Take my physics teacher for example, a jat by birth, an idiot by choice and a dickhead when it came to teaching. A stark introvert and a big bully, he was a teacher that used to bully his students. And I am not saying this because I hate him to death but because he really was. You won't believe it but he occasionally used abusive language for his students. And my god! I was so surprised to see a master-type teacher in my private and so reputed school. I still remember my first meeting with him like it happened yesterday.
I was seated in the middle seat of the middle row in my class and turn by turn he was asking students their name and where they lived and also the subjects they hate. Came my turn and I was standing like pillar with a mouth and coyly told my name "Abhiss.. umm..Abhishek Singhal." He raised his eyebrows, murmured something to himself and thunderd, "abe tera naam kya hai?"
I was more surprised than scared because I never expected such gentle looking man could have such a speech. Boy, I got so angry at that time that I nearly exploded "Abhishek Singhal, dearest sir" I thundered even louder than him, my voice echoing through every corner of the room. He looked well-shaken and now in a slightly timid voice asked me where I lived. When I told so, he said out of the blue,"Mujhe pitwa mat diyo". And I was just dumb struck.
I had to spend my next two years with that bastard. Recalling some other instances, I once had a physics viva and rather than asking me the questions related to the practical, he started off on a very cool note by asking, which chapter is my strongest. I thought maybe he is coming back to his senses but boy! i was so wrong. He was actually preparing to humiliate me to every bone. Asked me the toughest question, I couldn't answer and he was just shouting at me, saying things I wish he hadn't said. I was so devastated by what followed. Like everything good in me has been slowly poisoned. I became more and more disinterested in school, their works and my marks there.. I just didn't give a damn anymore. Results were quite clear. I had fallen from 9.8 CGPA in 10th to 60% in 11th. People and mostly my parents related this slide down to different causes but only I knew what was actually going on. My parents knew too but somehow they couldn't show their helplessness in front of me.
To make things a little better, I thought taking private tuition lessons in 12th was going to be a good idea. Mostly because everyone else in our batch used to take tuitions from him. It was so wrong. Bullying children to take tuition from him. But, I thought it would be the best way to maybe end his bullying. Afterall, my life's at stake. So, I started taking private lessons from him but it also turned out to be such a bad idea. Actually, he didn't use to teach at all. He used compete. Every single time, saying he did this question right in his head and I couldn't do it with a pen even. And paying him Rs 800 an hour, his bullying in the school stopped. Miraculously or by money. But I knew it wasn't going to go like this. I was the star boy at my institute and falling to prey to such asshole, it was below my dignity. Ultimately, I left his classes for good. Bullying started again, but this time I was harsher than ever.
During my last board practical when the tensions were at their peak, he once again started barking at me for no reason "practical dene aa jaiyo!" And some other far fetched abuses. This was it. I was giving my biology practical, stopped writing at this very instant. Shoved away my answer sheet, got up from my chair, rolled up my sleeves, went straight up to him and got so close to his face that I could hear him breath restlessly. Being 6'1'' I overshadowed him completely. I was visibly agitated. I said sternly,"Do you have a problem sir? "
And boy, the whole class was looking at the two of us. He said," Practical me chutti mat maar liyo!" "Already said and heard" I replied in crisp english. And the man went away. I wasn't expecting this. I was ready to punch him in the face but then again this man surprised me. He never ceased to do so. My biology teacher, was however, more compassionate and more attached to me. He calmed me down and told me to let it go. I complied.
That was the last incident I ever got involved in. I had realised the bigger picture that time. I had a target which was greater than him. He was just an obstacle. I had to overcome him. Sadly, I couldn't. The realisation came too late. The ship had already sailed and I wasn't anywhere near it.
The point is he overpowered me. Like nothing else has done before. He poisoned every good in me slowly and steadily. He damaged my faith, shattered my trust and ruined my emotions. I had to rebuilt myself. My confidence and my sense from scratch. I had completely lost faith in teachers and also in people. But time heals most of the things. And this time, I had whole one full year before me to build myself. I was going to the Aakash institute and the teachers there were so supportive. But still, I didn't let anyone of them get close to me. I was too afraid to think about the repercussions. And then once came a hard time in the institute even and I thought I wasn't ready to handle it. This time I had an option and therefore, I left. Hence, for good 7 months I studied at home without a teacher, without anyone to guide me and I was finally, so close to getting what I wanted, admission to MBBS but then again, the destiny had something else in store for me and I ended up in BDS. Not bad but certainly not great. I many a times hold him primarily responsible for such a chain of events that lead me to believe exactly opposite of what I used to. I had to rebuilt myself and I think I forgot to include many important pieces of me. That's why I sometimes feel so hollow from inside. Now, I make friends very easily. Like never before. But my friendships are shallower than ever. I am now certainly more meaner and there is a lot more "I" than "we" in my conversations. All of this because of a single man who made taught me the biggest lesson of my life "What people really are". I miss the warmth I had, the compassion with which I used to do every task and the motivation that used to drive me out of the bed every morning. Now, it's just like the mended glass which can never be the same once it had been cracked.
All of this, all the efforts of other teachers, all my efforts over the past few years, negated and poisoned to every inch because of this one person who I had innocently believed as my parent because we are told that teachers are just like our parents.
